In defiance to the words of the 'official Christian perspective' that attempt to rationalize dating as 'sin' but 'spiritually correct' us with the term 'courtship' (which in reality turns out to be the same as dating), there is a reason why many Christian men in their twenties date. Christian men in their twenties desire a wife. I am not talking about 'teenage love' here in reference to the puppy love or the 'first crush'. When most men in their twenties date a member of the opposite sex, the purpose of the dating expedition beyond obtaining a beauty is the possiblity of marriage in the long run. When an adult male has decided that he wants to pursue marriage, every selection of the woman and the mutual agreement between the two parties to date each other is for the purpose of attempting (and in many cases succeeding) to develop a relationship that may lead to marriage. The concept of marriage is the long-term goal while at the same time the short term goals of getting to know each other, developing faithfulness and trust, and maturing into compatibility are beginning to bear fruit. It is in the process of the maturation of the relationship that the growth of both people individually and as a potential 'coming together to be one' via the marriage covenant takes place to fill the inner void and cravings of needing companionship and loneliness. God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone and created Eve for Adam to be his helpmate.

If one looks at the pathway that a man and a woman take to get to the point of meeting each other, that is a miracle of God's actions in and of itself. Neil Peart of Rush in the secular song 'Ghost of A Chance' explains this perfectly in the lyrics of the verses:

Verse 1
Like a million little doorways
All the choices we made
All the stages we passed through
All the roles we played

For so many different directions
Our separate paths might have turned
With every door that we opened
Every bridge that we burned

Verse 2
Like a million little crossroads
Through the back streets of youth
Each time we turn a new corner
A tiny moment of truth

So many different connections
Our separate paths might have made
With every door that we opened
Every game we played

Choices, stages, pathways, games, bridges, crossroads, and doorways. If one looks at their life and begins to ponder about how the choices made and pathways taken (and not taken) have somehow led us to where we are at this time in our life. It is also beautiful to notice in the realm of romance that these choices made and pathways taken (and not taken) by God's grace takes us to the person that we will eventually and hopefully call our wife and be the woman we make covenant with and become one with. I find it amazing that the end result is part of what composes the miracle of finding the person God calls us to marry. Even Peart, in his rationalistic thinking, comes to a conclusion concerning the search of companionship in the common ending of the two verses mentioned above where he states:

Somehow we find each other
Through all that masquerade
Somehow we found each other
Somehow we have stayed
In a state of grace

The journey of life accompanied by God when we allow him by our side, with it's detours, roadblocks, and roadways that travel very roughly, leads us to the place where we are the person we need to be in Christ. The fulfillment of life in Christ is ever present in our life whether we are married or not married. I take comfort and joy in knowing that somehow through the Grace of God knowing and dealing with the sins we have committed, mistakes we made, the right choices made, etc. that we end up at the intersection where the pathway of the future man and the pathway of the future wife meet. It is like an intersection with no stop signs where one car (the man) is about to go through the intersection northbound in order to reach his planned destination to see another car (the woman) going through the same intersection in the eastbound direction in an attempt to reach her destination. Both the man and woman in their respective cars are only thinking about reaching their destinations at that time with marriage in the background. In many cases, both the man and woman feel that the planned destination must be reached in order to feel 'adequate' enough to marry without bringing in excessive 'baggage' into a relationship. In other words, the man and woman desire marriage but will not pursue it until the original planned destination is reached successfully. However, both cars see the other car go through the intersection without yielding to the other car and therefore attempt to do whatever it takes to avoid a collision because the focus is not to meet the person in the other car but to reach our planned destination. Somehow, both cars (the man and woman) failed in their attempt to avoid a collision with each other and are at the place of meeting each other for the first time. It is at that first meeting where hands are extended and as the man shakes the hand of the woman, their worlds begin to expand as they look at the collision that has prevented them temporarily from reaching their destination but at some point get to know each other and develop a relationship in due time that causes the man and the woman to change their original and individual destinations and carpool together (marriage over time) to get to a new and 'redirected' destination. Over time, the point of the journey of life will change in priority and focus. The point of the journey to the redirected destination is no longer arriving to the destination, but arriving together as one cohesive and strongly bonded marital covenated unit.

Throughout the meeting of the future wife and the development of the relationship, there are new elements that enter into the picture. These elements are faith and belief. There is a faith and belief that the man through the choices, pathways, games, etc. has found that someone to love and that love to last a lifetime 'till death do us part'.

Please Click here for part three of this article.