The Southern Gospel Singers Creed:
Article I: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that our men will wear alike suits shirts and ties along with our women wearing like floral-print dresses.
Article II: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that our clothes mentioned in Article I will be homemade with the cheapest materials and simplicity patterns from the cloth department at Wal-Mart.
Article III: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that we are the good ole boys but will behind the scenes after the concert claim the ushers must have pocketed some of the love offering.
Article IV: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that we will book a singing at your church. However, if your competitor church with more seats wants us to come into their church on the same Sunday, we will cancel you and play at the competing church because more seats mean more love offering money.
Article V: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that we will arrive with an old worn out rear-wheel drive car and equipment trailer to your church and tell you how ‘the poorer we are, the purer we are’ to get more love offering while hours later, go to the K-Mart parking lot and connect the equipment trailer to one new rear wheel drive luxury vehicle and drive the old worn out rear-wheel drive car onto a flatbed trailer pulled by another new rear wheel drive luxury vehicle.
Article VI: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that the bass player must play with the edge of the bass guitar body no less than a foot from his neck and the fretboard of the bass guitar standing straight up. Our drummers must wear a sportcoat playing drums no matter how difficult it is to roll the toms because uniformity is God.
Article VII: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that our songs will always end with a long unison phraze and the musical pattern of “duh duh dun-dun duh duh, duh duhhhhhhhhh”.
Article VIII: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that we need to go back to blue laws on Sundays but will sell our tapes and videos after service and go out to eat afterwards, make a mess, and leave no tip because “God said so”.
Article IX: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that we will celebrate when one of our own ex-Southern Gospel singers goes contemporary or secular and years later fall down, are divorced, in a rehab, etc. to affirm that Southern Gospel Music is God’s only music and leaving Southern Gospel music caused their life to go downhill.
Article X: We the Southern Gospel Singers affirm that the Gaither Homecoming Video Series are from God and every Christian should own these.
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Comments
Tongue in cheek, right!!?
Yes and No.
The creeds were satirical in nature. However, they were based on real-life things I saw go down with Southern Gospel singers (especially items 4,5,8, and 9).